The Discipline of Intimacy

The discipline of a great sex life is important. The devil is trying to distort sex, but God created it and talks about it in the Bible. In the covenant of marriage, sex is good. 

It’s easy to fall into unhealthy patterns and develop vicious cycles. The Bible warns us about this. When we fall into vicious cycles, they can define the relationship.

Vicious Cycles to Be Aware of


“If you do xyz, then I will give you sex.”

1 Corinthians 7:3-5
“The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.

Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

When we withhold sex, we are using it as a weapon.

These are the games marriages will play and it isn’t limited to only sexual intimacy. It can bleed into emotional intimacy.

Doing it only out of duty

“I am only doing this because you want it, not because I want it.”

There is more to sex that God intends than just the physical act. It involves an emotional and spiritual component as well.

Allowing the past to rob you of today

If this is a struggle for you, work it out through a counselor if you need to. Don’t stay in that place of shame and struggle.

"I'm Tired"

If this is constant, check your life schedule, or meet with a doctor because hormones are REAL!
If you are healthy, begin to find ways to conserve energy in your day for your spouse.

Intimacy Tips

  1. What does your spouse need when it comes to intimacy in the marriage?
  2. Stats say less than 2x’s a month is a sexless marriage. 
  3. Talk about this in a setting where there aren’t any distractions and you feel the most comfortable to share. (Away from normal daily distractions.)
Schedule It

It might not sound romantic, but what is less romantic is not having it at all. 

Our calendar reflects our priorities.

Have Fun!